Gender identity is about how you understand yourself when it comes to being male, female, both, neither or anywhere in between. It’s about how you see and experience your own gender. And this can be different for everyone.
Gender is not the same as ‘sex’. Sex is about your body parts, like having a penis, vagina, different hormones, or breasts. Gender is about your own personal sense of who you are and how you want others to see you. For example, you might identify as a woman, Non-binary, Transgender, a man, gender fluid, or something else. It’s all about what you know or feel to be true for you.
Your gender identity might match up with the sex you were given at birth, or it might not. You might feel clear about what your gender identity is, or find that your gender identity changes at different points in your life. However you feel about your gender is totally okay. And it’s normal to keep exploring as you grow and figure out who you are.
There are lots of different ways to describe your gender. Stonewall has a full list of terms, but here are some common ones people use:
When someone’s gender matches the sex they were given at birth.
When someone’s gender is different from the sex they were given at birth.
These are gender identities that don’t sit comfortably within ‘man’ or ‘woman’. Instead, they sit outside of, across or in between ‘male’ and ‘female'.
This is when someone’s gender feels flexible and can change over time.
These are the terms we use to refer to someone, like he/him, she/her or they/them.
The way someone shows their gender through things like appearance and behaviour. This might not always fit with what society expects for that gender. Not everyone who expresses their gender differently identifies as Trans. It’s important not to make assumptions based on someone’s appearance alone.
Differences in sex development (DSD), sometimes called intersex, is a broad term for over 40 conditions that affect a person’s sex development. These differences can happen on the inside or outside of your body, like differences in the development of sex chromosomes, hormones, reproductive organs, the penis or the vagina.
Having a DSD/being intersex does not define your gender identity. An intersex person might identify as male, female, Transgender, Non-binary or however they choose.
People with a DSD develop in lots of different ways. Some might not have periods or not be able to get pregnant, while others might look different in their build or how they grow. But having a DSD is no different from having a variation of any other part of the body.
Sometimes, when you’re born intersex, differences in how your genitals look could be a sign of a serious medical condition. When this happens, a parent/carer might think about surgery as an option. In the UK, it’s likely that surgery will only be considered if there’s a medical need for it, not just because you look ‘different’. And even in these cases, adults/carers might be encouraged to wait until you’re old enough to be involved in any decisions about surgery yourself.
Whether you’ve had surgery or not, having a DSD could affect how you feel about your body. This can be tough. But remember that support is out there. If you need help with decisions or want to find out more, these organisations and services can support you:
Meet Anick, a young activist who shares his story of being intersex. Trigger warning: talk of suicide, surgery and blood.
If you’re a different gender from the sex you were assigned at birth, this can sometimes cause experiences of stress, confusion or anxiety. But it can also cause positive feelings of joy, pride and confidence in yourself. You might experience:
This is when you feel uneasy or distressed because your body doesn’t match your gender identity, or when someone uses the wrong pronouns.
This is when the sex you were assigned at birth doesn’t match your gender identity, and you want to make changes so that you can live as your true self.
This is when you experience feelings of happiness and joy when you’re recognised as your correct gender. Like if someone uses the right pronouns or you’re able to wear clothes you feel comfortable in.
Internalised transphobia is when you feel bad about your own Trans or Non-binary identity because of negative attitudes around you, how you’ve been brought up, or societal beliefs. This can make you feel ashamed or worried about people knowing your gender identity. And if you're Non-binary, living in a world that mostly recognises just two genders can make you feel like your identity isn’t valid. But it always is.
Feelings like this can affect your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression or low self-esteem. Remember that these feelings are common and not your fault – they stem from a society that often doesn't understand or accept diverse identities. It can help to challenge these negative thoughts by surrounding yourself with supportive people and positive representation of Trans and Non-binary identities. Try connecting with communities or groups that understand your gender identity by searching for a group online. Reading books or watching shows that align with how you feel can also help you feel more positive about who you are.
If you’re experiencing any of these difficult feelings, our advice below on how to look after your mental health can help.
From a young age, I struggled with food. Puberty was a traumatic time because my body began changing in ways that felt completely at odds with how I saw myself. … Personally, I received the most beneficial support from my LGBT youth worker and BEAT’s online chat service. These are far from the only options, so try researching what help is available in your area.
Coming out can be a tough experience. For some, it’s a freeing moment, but for others, it can bring a lot of stress and worry. Whether it’s friends, family, or others in your community, you might fear how people will react.
It’s completely up to you if you want to share your gender identity with others and when. No one should force you to share personal information if you don’t want to. But if you do want to share, here are some tips that might help:
[Coming out] is a process, not a single event. I came out to my friends differently than my parents. There are plenty of people in my life who I'm still not out to. Even much later in life when I'm out to almost everyone, I'll still be meeting new people who I have to come out to like it's the first time.
You might feel you need surgery or medical intervention to be able to truly express who you are and feel comfortable in your gender. This is known as gender transition treatment or gender reassignment.
The NHS offers gender transition treatment through gender dysphoria clinics. Treatments will vary depending on your age, what you want and where you live.
If you’re under 18 and experiencing gender dysphoria, you can be referred to the NHS Children and Young People’s Gender Services. Once your referral is accepted, you might meet with one specialist or a whole team of specialists, like psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers. They’ll get to know you over three to six sessions – it’s their job to figure out how best to support you.
There are a number of different outcomes that can come from these sessions. You might get a referral for family therapy, one-to-one sessions, group work with other young people, or just regular check-ins to see how you’re feeling about your gender identity.
Unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be accepted into the service straight away or be offered all or even any of these options. At this stage, most support focuses on mental health rather than medical intervention. You might be asked to take part in research or be placed on a waiting list. This can be really upsetting if you feel ready to transition, but these steps are there to help you feel confident and assured in the process you’re about to go through.
Puberty blockers are medicines that pause the changes your body goes through during puberty. They give you more time to explore your gender identity without the added stress of physical changes that might not match your gender.
Puberty blockers are not available on the NHS for children and young people. But if you continue to show signs of gender dysphoria after getting support for your mental health, you might be referred to a hormone specialist around the age of 16. They could prescribe gender-affirming hormones, like testosterone or oestrogen. These hormones make physical changes to your body, like getting a deeper voice or growing breasts.
Getting a referral for hormones might be difficult because you have to meet very strict criteria which guide the decisions about your gender made by the service. This can be really challenging, especially if you feel like you’re not being listened to or understood. Remember that the difficulties you might face in being heard don’t make who you are, your choices, or your feelings any less valid. Even though it can be really difficult to make yourself understood, your gender identity is still genuine and true.
If you’re struggling with your mental health as a result, reach out for help to a friend or family member, or contact a helpline for support.
By age 17, if you want to continue your treatment, you might be referred to an adult gender clinic. If you’re already on the waiting list, your referral should be transferred, but it’s a good idea to check with your clinician to make sure this happens. If you’re struggling while you wait, there are organisations that can help.
Once your referral is transferred, the adult services clinic can help you with more permanent steps for transitioning if that’s what feels right for you.
If you’re experiencing gender dysphoria as an adult, you can be referred to a gender dysphoria clinic. These clinics have a team of professionals who can offer ongoing support, advice, and treatments that work for you. Services vary, but these treatments could include:
Some people find that support from the clinic is enough to help them feel comfortable in their identity. Others might need more treatment to feel fully themselves.
You may be offered hormone therapy as part of your treatment. This can help you feel more comfortable in your body by changing your physical appearance to match your gender identity.
Depending on what changes you want to happen to your body, you might be offered testosterone or oestrogen. These hormones work by suppressing the ‘unwanted’ hormones from your testes or ovaries. It can take a few months to see changes, which can feel frustrating, and while hormone therapy can change a lot about your body, there are limits to what it can do. It can’t change your height or shoulder width for example. But taking these hormones can still change how you look and make a big difference to how you feel.
You might choose to have surgery to permanently change your body parts. This is entirely your choice – you don’t need to have surgery to be Trans or Non-binary and it should always be something you fully consent to. If you're considering surgery, your gender dysphoria clinic will refer you to a specialist surgeon.
Common surgeries for Trans men include chest surgery to remove breasts (also called top surgery), surgery to create a penis, and a hysterectomy (removal of the womb).
Common surgeries for Trans women include removing the testes and penis and creating a vagina. Breast implants and hair transplants are generally not available on the NHS.
For more information about the legal and medical processes of expressing your gender, use the ‘gender kit’, which guides you through how to make any changes you might want to make.
Unfortunately, lots of young people face barriers to getting the treatment they need. Below are some barriers you might come up against.
NHS transition healthcare can sometimes feel like it has strict ideas about gender. You might feel pressured to act more masculine or feminine to get treatment. This can be hard, especially if you're Non-binary and feel like you have to fit into a box to get the care you need.
If you have a physical or mental health problem, you might face longer waits for transition care. Some treatments, like surgeries, might not be available if you don’t meet certain health requirements. You could also experience delays to your transition care if you’re admitted to hospital for your mental health.
Not all health professionals know what care you're entitled to. Some GPs might not be trained enough to support you while you wait for treatment. It’s a good idea to know what your rights are. Organisations like Brook and TransActual can support you with this.
Waiting times for NHS gender treatment services can be really long.
You may have to wait months or even years. This can be really tough, making you feel stuck and uncomfortable in a body that doesn’t match your gender identity. If you’re struggling while you wait, reach out for help. There are lots of organisations out there who can support you.
Sadly, if you’re Trans, Non-binary or genderqueer, you might experience bullying, abuse, or discrimination for who you are. This is never okay and can be really harmful to your mental health.
Not everyone will experience discrimination or abuse. But unfortunately, members of the LGBTQIA+ community are not yet treated equally, and experiences of unfair treatment are common in education, society and work settings. Below are some experiences you might have had and how to get support.
Sometimes, other people can find it hard to accept gender identities that are different from their own. This can make you anxious about how people will react or fear that you’ll be judged. You may feel like you need to hide who you are by dressing, acting, or speaking in a way that doesn’t feel true to you, just to fit in.
If you’re experiencing negative attitudes from others, it’s important to remember these reactions come from a lack of education and understanding about the diversity of gender, not from anything wrong with you. If you feel comfortable to, try talking to them and explaining how you feel. You may find they start to understand your perspective. If you’d rather not talk to them, finding people who do get it can be helpful. Gendered Intelligence has support groups for Trans, Non-binary and gender questioning people that might help.
In a very gendered and binary society, lots of places can have a narrow view of gender and it can be easy to feel like the world isn’t made for you. Same-sex spaces, like toilets, changing rooms, sports clubs or some parts of the healthcare system, can make you feel unwelcome or misunderstood. This lack of inclusivity can create anxiety about seeking support, but remember, it’s not about you. It’s about a society that often overlooks the diversity of gender identities. If you need help, there are people you can call who get it.
If you’ve changed your name, ‘deadnaming’ is when someone uses your old name instead of your chosen name. Misgendering is when someone refers to you with the wrong pronouns or uses words about you that don’t reflect your gender. Both of these can be incredibly painful. It's frustrating when people don't see or respect who you are, but often it's just a reflection of their lack of understanding. If someone uses the wrong name or pronoun, calmly correct them and then move on. If they continue to do it on purpose, this is a form of harassment, and you should speak up about it if it’s safe for you to do so. If it happens at school or work, let your teacher or employer know.
Abuse is when someone hurts you physically, sexually, emotionally, or financially. A hate crime happens when that abuse is targeted at you for being who you are, like for your gender. Abuse can be online or in person, from strangers or people you know. Whatever your experience of abuse, it can be very upsetting and traumatic, and you deserve help. Galop has more information about anti-LGBTQIA+ hate crimes. We also have advice in our guide.
Sometimes, discrimination or transphobia can make it tough to talk about the abuse you’ve experienced. You might fear it won’t be taken seriously. But abuse and hate crimes are illegal, so you should always report them if you can.
If you want to report abuse or a hate crime, having support can make a big difference. Talking to a helpline about the pros and cons of making an official report might help you feel more empowered and less overwhelmed. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone and you don’t have to put up with discrimination or abuse. You have every right to feel safe.
Conversion therapy is any attempt by others to change or suppress your gender identity. It's a form of abuse. There's nothing wrong with being Trans or Non-binary – you can’t and don't need to be ‘cured’ or changed.
Conversion therapy can look like:
Conversion therapy is not just unethical, it can seriously impact your mental health, leading to anger, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and suicidal feelings. Physical and verbal abuse or threats of abuse to you because of your gender identity or gender presentation are never okay. You have the right to exist without fear of harm or abuse.
If you’ve experienced or been offered conversion therapy, you deserve support. Talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or a supportive adult. You can also call Galop’s anti-abuse helpline for guidance, or report it to the police.
Experiencing negative attitudes regularly can be really tough. You might find yourself avoiding places or overthinking things that others don’t even notice. Carrying these feelings around can be exhausting, making everyday tasks like eating, focusing at school or work, chatting with friends, or getting a good night’s sleep feel really hard.
It might feel overwhelming right now, but remember, change is possible. Many people are fighting and campaigning every day for a more equal society for Trans and Non-binary people because you deserve to be who you are freely and without fear.
If you’re Black, Disabled, religious, or belong to any other minoritised or racialised group, being Trans or Non-binary can come with extra difficulties. The overlap of different parts of your identity might mean you face additional discrimination or feel excluded in certain spaces. This is tough and unfair, but you don’t have to face it alone. There are organisations out there that understand the unique challenges you might experience, and we have lots of guides and advice that can help.
If you’re struggling with your mental health while you navigate your gender identity, we have advice on things you can do and how to get help. We understand that some of these suggestions might not be possible and that seeking support for your mental health when you’re Trans or Non-binary can be more difficult, especially if you can't safely be out. You know yourself best, so choose advice that feels right for you and your situation.
If you’re struggling, it can help to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Speak to someone you feel comfortable with, like close friends, parents, relatives or extended family members, a counsellor, a mentor, sports coach or anyone else you trust. If you don’t feel safe talking to someone you know, there are lots of LGBTQIA+ helplines you can call. Remember it’s okay to ask for support when you’re struggling.
Finding supportive groups can be a great way to meet people with similar experiences who get what you’re going through. These safe spaces help to create a sense of community. Gendered Intelligence runs in-person and online support groups. You can also search for support in your local area on Brook’s website.
Joining a sports club can be a great way to build confidence, meet others, and look after your mental health. If you're looking for Trans-inclusive spaces, these organisations can help you find a welcoming and supportive environment:
If you’re struggling to cope, you should speak to your GP. They’ll know what help is available and can guide you on the best options for support. Some signs that you might need to get help from your GP include:
Try to be as honest as possible when speaking to your GP so they can suggest the best support for you. This could be a referral to CAMHS, counselling and therapy, or signposting to organisations that can help.
Speaking to a therapist can be really scary, but it can also be a really important step in improving your mental health and accepting your gender identity. In England, you can refer yourself for therapy through the NHS talking therapies service.
If you’re able to pay for therapy, it might help to speak to someone who gets what you’re going through. You can find therapists specialising in Trans and Non-binary support through organisations like Pink Therapy and on the Consortium website. Gendered Intelligence also has a list of counsellors and therapists who’ve been trained specifically to offer therapy to Trans and Non-binary people, and many of them are trained to work with young people.
Lots of therapists offer low cost or affordable therapy rates so it’s always a good idea to ask. If you need more advice on choosing the right therapist, Pink Therapy have a helpful guide.
Finding ways to celebrate your gender identity can lift your spirits and help you feel more connected with others. These moments of joy don’t have to be big or public. There are lots of little things you can do to find joy in who you are, like:
Social media can be a great way to connect with others, but it can also expose you to harmful news or targeted comments about Trans and Non-binary identities. If you’re seeing things online that make you feel upset, remember you can mute, block or unfollow accounts that bring you down. Taking breaks from social media can really help too. Try deleting your apps for a weekend. Or follow accounts by influencers, artists and people you respect that bring you joy.
For more advice, take a look at our social media and mental health guide, or get tips on dealing with worries about the news and the world.
If you’re having a mental health crisis and you need urgent support, call 999 immediately or go to your nearest A&E.
You can also find out who to contact on our urgent help page.
An ally is someone who supports and stands up for Trans and Non-binary people, even if they aren't Trans or Non-binary themselves. It’s about listening, learning, and using your voice to help make sure Trans and Non-binary people are treated fairly. Even small actions can make a big difference to their mental health. Here are some simple but important ways you can help.
Respect and accept their identity by taking who they are seriously. Do your best to use the terms and pronouns they prefer, even if these change over time. If you get it wrong, just apologise and move on.
Challenge your own views and assumptions about gender and relationships. We all have set ideas about this formed by our upbringing and society, but if they’re not inclusive, it’s important to challenge and change them.
It’s okay to be curious, but unless they’ve said it’s okay, don’t ask personal or invasive questions about their body or sex life – take their lead instead. Some Trans and Non-binary people might have a difficult relationship with their body, and this can be hard to talk about.
If you come across discrimination, stigma, or misconceptions from others, challenge them. You can do this kindly by correcting people and explaining that what they’ve said is wrong or harmful. Actions like these help Trans and Non-binary people to feel safer and less alone.
Create space for them to share their experiences with you if they want to. If they don’t feel ready to speak to you, just be patient and let them know you’re there if they ever do want to talk.
Encourage them to seek mental health support if they need it. There are lots of organisations and helplines you could tell them about. Remember that your health is important too, so you can always signpost them elsewhere for help.
If you’re struggling with feelings around navigating your gender identity and it’s impacting your mental health, these organisations and helplines can support you.
Works with the transgender community, with an emphasis on supporting young trans people aged 8-25.
Has free resources for trans and gender-questioning young people and their families.
An emotional and mental health support helpline for anyone identifying as transgender, non-binary, genderfluid (or their family members, friends, colleagues and carers).
Supports LGBTQ+ young people aged 16-25 in the UK who are facing or experiencing homelessness, or living in a hostile environment.
You can refer yourself online to arrange a face-to-face appointment with a member of staff in their Bristol, London, Manchester or Newcastle centres.
They also offer a free webchat service.
A dedicated LGBT+ anti-violence charity.
Gives advice and support to people who have experienced biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexual violence or domestic abuse.
Supports and provides information for trans, non binary and gender diverse young people.
Free webchat service available.
A mental health service run by and for lesbians, gay, bisexual, trans and queer people with experience of mental health issues.
Instant web chat service also available (hours vary).
Runs in-person peer support groups in Brighton.
Free and confidential counselling for people who identify as Trans, Non-binary or are questioning their gender identity.
Only available for people who live, work and socialise in the Greater London area.
Includes face-to-face counselling, online or over the phone. Also offers occasional wellbeing workshops on a variety of issues for people of Trans experience.
Shares facts about Trans rights, UK law, NHS healthcare and transphobia, as well as Transgender people's lived experiences and rights through quotes, blog posts and articles.
Includes information for Trans men, Trans women and Non-binary people, as well as information for allies, journalists and professionals.
Offers confidential support and advice to members of the LGBT+ community.
Free webchat service also available.
This page was reviewed in March 2025.
It was co-created with young people with lived experience of gender identity and mental health.
We will next review the page in 2028.
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