Self-esteem and believing in yourself

When your confidence is low, it’s easy to be self-critical. But being kinder to yourself can help you start to feel more confident.

You could try to:

• notice and challenge unkind thoughts through journalling or daily mood trackers
• identify what lifts your mood and makes you feel good
• talk to yourself like you would to a friend
• remind yourself of your strengths and achievements
• repeat positive or reassuring statements, like “I’m trying my best”

We all have negative thoughts about ourselves sometimes. But if you’re having them a lot, it’s a good idea to find ways to change your patterns of thinking.

If you notice yourself thinking things like “I’m not good enough,” try to question it. Ask yourself:

• Would I say this to a friend?
• What evidence do I have that this is true?
• Is there a more balanced way to look at this?

Over time, this can help you be less self-critical.

It can be hard to see the good things about yourself when your confidence is low. But everyone has strengths and positive parts of their personality.

Try writing down things you like about yourself, or things you’re proud of – no matter how small. Keep adding to your list and come back to it when you need a confidence boost. You could even write down something you’ve enjoyed each day, no matter how small, as a reminder that you deserve to remember the good things that happen to you. 

Spending time with people you like and trust can help you feel more confident and less alone.

You could try to:

• talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling
• make small plans with others, like going for a walk, or just message a friend to check in
• join a club, class or online community based on something you enjoy
• do something kind for someone else, like sending a message or helping out

If reaching out feels difficult, start small, like replying to a message or spending time with someone you already feel comfortable with. If you need more support reaching out to someone you trust, we have advice in our guide.

Trying something new can help you build confidence and feel a sense of achievement.

This could be something small, like:

• starting a new hobby or revisiting something you used to enjoy
• learning a new skill through videos, apps or classes
• doing something creative, like drawing, writing or making music
• trying a physical activity, like walking, dancing or a sport
• volunteering for a cause you feel passionate about

You don’t have to be good at it – just giving it a go can help build confidence over time.

Being assertive means expressing what you think, feel and need in a respectful way.

You could practise:

• sharing your opinion in small situations, like choosing what to watch or where to go
• asking for help when you need it, instead of struggling on your own
• saying “no” to things you don’t want to do
• using clear language, like “I would prefer…” or “I feel…”

This might feel uncomfortable at first, so try practising what you want to say beforehand, or starting with people you trust.

Setting goals can help you build your confidence little by little.

Try to:

• break big goals into smaller steps that feel easier to manage
• focus on one or two goals at a time
• write your goals down or keep track of your progress
• celebrate small wins, like completing a task or trying something new

If things don’t go to plan, try to be kind to yourself and adjust your goals if needed.

Looking after your wellbeing and basic needs can help improve your self-esteem.

This might include:

• getting enough rest and sleep where you can
• eating regularly, even if it’s small meals
• moving your body in ways that feel good
• making time for things you enjoy or that help you relax

Looking after yourself doesn’t have to be perfect. Even small actions can make a difference. For more advice, take a look at our guide to self-care.