Lots of young people will have thoughts about suicide at some point. Having these thoughts does not mean someone is necessarily going to attempt suicide. But it does mean they need help and support. All suicidal feelings should be taken seriously. As a parent or carer, you are right to be concerned and to act on this promptly.
If your child or young person is experiencing suicidal thoughts, it can be incredibly distressing. It’s important to remember that they can come out the other side and feel okay again. And you are not alone. On this page, you can find information, advice and services that can help you.
It's really helpful to look out for these warning signs, which can tell us that a young person may be thinking about suicide. But it’s not always easy to know. Every young person will express, or not express, their feelings differently. Some young people will be clear that they are thinking about suicide, while others won’t. Some experience suicidal thoughts over an extended period of time, while others find their thoughts arise as sudden urges. This can make it difficult for you to understand what's going on. If you’re worried, try gently checking in with your child or young person. We've got advice about how to do this below.
If your child or young person isn't talking, you can still look out for warning signs and changes in their behaviour. You can also encourage them to talk to another trusted adult like a relative or family friend, if they would find this easier. If you're worried, it's important to talk your concerns through with a professional too - even if you're not sure what's going on. You can find out how to do this below.
Talking about this may feel difficult, daunting or scary. You might be worried about saying the wrong thing or making the situation worse. This is completely understandable. But if you’re worried, it’s actually really important to find out how your child or young person is feeling.
Being able to share their thoughts, and knowing you’re someone they can turn to, will help them feel less alone. Asking them about suicidal thoughts will also help you to understand what’s going on. This means you can make a more informed decision about what to do next. Talking about suicidal thoughts with your child or young person will not increase their risk or put ideas in their head.
Here are three tips for approaching the conversation:
You can start the conversation gently, using a phrase like: “I’ve noticed that you seem really down at the moment, I’m wondering what might be going on?”. This will help things feel less abrupt for both of you. But at some point during the conversation, it’s really important to ask a direct and closed question about whether they are thinking about suicide.
When you ask about suicidal thoughts, use clear words such as 'suicide’, ‘ending your life’ or ‘taking your own life’. For example, you might say: “I’m wondering if things are ever so bad at the moment that you feel like you’re having suicidal thoughts?” Avoid vague language like ‘dark thoughts’ or ‘thoughts of harming yourself’. Using direct words lets them know that you want them to tell you about this, and that you’re a safe person to talk to.
You might find it helpful to practice saying the words you're going to use before you talk to your child. Getting used to saying words like 'suicide' or 'suicidal thoughts' might help you to feel more confident during the conversation.
PAPYRUS supports parents and carers who are worried that their child or young person is having suicidal thoughts. You can have a look at their conversation starters, and their tips for parents and carers.
You can also contact their Hopeline for support, information and advice over the phone. They can help you get ready for the conversation, process what’s been said and think through next steps.
Some young people will find it difficult to talk. As a parent or carer, this can be incredibly challenging.
In this situation, you can try other ways of supporting them to open up, such as:
Ultimately, if they don’t want to talk, there’s no way to make them. If you’re worried, seek professional help. If they aren’t talking and you’re worried about their safety, you should follow the steps below to get urgent professional help.
Taking your child or young person to A&E in this situation can feel strange for parents and carers. Remember that this is the right thing to do. The NHS is very clear that a mental health emergency is as serious as a physical one. You will not be wasting anyone’s time.
If you go to A&E, your child or young person should be assessed by a child and adolescent mental health specialist. The specialist will decide on next steps and provide advice about risk management.
Some people are more at risk of taking their own life during the seven days after a hospital admission for a suicide attempt. The professional who assesses your child or young person should have a plan around follow-up and support after leaving hospital.
If your child or young person is 18 or older, A&E should either provide an assessment by an adult mental health specialist or contact the relevant local service.
Supporting someone who is feeling suicidal is incredibly hard and a huge responsibility. Some parents and carers in this situation tell us they are living in a state of fear all the time. This is exhausting and can start to affect your own mental health.
It’s important to recognise the impact the situation is having on you, and to think about ways you can take care of yourself. This includes getting support from other people so that you can take some time off. Talk to someone you trust and ask for help when you need it.
Remember that even when you’re desperately worried about your child or young person, it is not possible to supervise them 24/7. If you feel like they need to be supervised all the time, this may be a sign that it's too much to manage at home. In this situation, some young people need to be in hospital, where they can get the right help and you can be supported by professionals.
Sometimes it helps just having someone there who can listen to what you’re going through. If you need someone to talk to, you can call the Samaritans anytime on 116 123. You can also speak to your GP about local counselling and therapy services. Or you can find a private therapist if this is an affordable option for you.
While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.
Offers confidential advice and support for young people struggling with suicidal thoughts, as well as family and friends; and information about how to make a safety plan.
Its helpline service - HOPELINE247 - is available to anybody under the age of 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, or anybody concerned that a young person could be thinking of suicide.
We support parents and carers who are concerned about their child or young person's mental health. Our Parents Helpline provides detailed advice and information, emotional support and signposting.
You can speak to us over the phone or chat to us online.
You can speak to us over webchat between 9.30am and 4pm from Monday-Friday. When we’re closed, you can still leave us a message in the chat. We’ll reply to you by email in 3-5 working days.
To get urgent mental health advice from the NHS, call 111 and select the mental health option. 111 will tell you where you can get help. They may also be able to put you through to a trained mental health professional over the phone.
111 can support anyone who is feeling unsafe, distressed or worried about their mental health. They can also give information and advice about what to do if you're worried about someone else.
If you would rather get help online, you can use 111 online.
Digital support community and charity offering information, peer support, facilitated listening circles, mentoring and courses for parents of children with mental health difficulties.
Founder Suzanne Alderson’s book Never Let Go - How to Parent Your Child Through Mental Illness (Penguin, 2020) outlines how she supported her daughter to recovery after she became depressed and suicidal.
Offers support for people over the age of 18 who have lost someone to suicide.
Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.
This page was reviewed in January 2024.
It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with suicidal thoughts.
We will next review the page in 2027.
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