Drugs and alcohol

A teenager or young adult might drink alcohol or take drugs for different reasons. They might do it because:

• it makes them feel good in the moment
• it’s a way of having fun or socialising
• they are curious and want to test boundaries or try new things
• they want to fit in with a social group or feel pressure to do it
• it makes them feel more confident
• they want to distract from difficult thoughts or feelings

This is because our emotions often feel more intense when we’re drinking or taking drugs. We can also feel less able to cope in the hours or days afterwards. This can make issues like anxiety or depression harder to manage.

Drinking or taking drugs can be a way of numbing or distracting from difficult feelings or thoughts. But while it might sometimes feel like this brings short-term relief, it can make the problem worse over the long-term.

Before they start thinking about drinking or trying drugs themselves, your child or young person will be learning from what they see you doing. Reflect on your own relationship with drugs or alcohol. What messages might you be sending to them?

Things change with each generation. It’s helpful to know what words are used, what the most common drugs are, and where people are getting them. This will help you feel confident when you’re talking about them and setting boundaries. The Frank website is a good place to start.

Sometimes, a young person might feel like there is pressure to drink or take drugs when they do not want to. Friends or peers might tell them to do it or make them feel bad if they don’t. They might also feel under pressure to explain why they aren’t joining in. This can be particularly difficult for teenagers and young people, because it’s often a time when ‘fitting in’ feels really important.

Peer pressure can leave someone feeling worried, alone and even unsafe. In this situation, make it clear that:

• there are serious risks involved with drinking or trying drugs
• when it comes to drugs and alcohol, the only person who gets to decide what they do is them
• anyone who’s making them feel this way is not being a good friend
• people who care about us should not push us to do things we’re uncomfortable about
• someone often pressures people to do things when they’re not feeling good about themselves – it says more about the person who is doing the pressuring than it does about them

You can also look at Childline’s guide to being assertive together. This might be helpful when they want to say no but they’re not sure how.

Over time, your child or young person may start to realise that they're spending time with a group of people who often make them feel bad about themselves. Listen to what this is like for them. Encourage them to join groups or clubs for the things they’re interested in. This can help them to meet new friends.

This might include talking about:

• their own thoughts and feelings about alcohol and drugs
• how they can get to know their limits around alcohol, and stay within these
• how they can make choices that are right for them, rather than the choices they think they ‘should’ make
• what kind of people they want to spend time with, and how they want to be treated by their friends
• what they would say if they were offered alcohol or drugs when they didn’t want them
• what they can do and say if they get into a situation which makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe

These directories provide a list of drug and alcohol services near you:

• FRANK service directory, for people in England
• Scottish Drug Services Directory
• DAN 24/7, for people in Wales
• Drugs and alcohol Northern Ireland

If your child or young person needs urgent help after taking drugs or drinking alcohol, call 999 for an ambulance straightaway.

If you are worried that your child or young person is feeling suicidal, or is not safe, they need urgent help. You can find out who to contact on our urgent help page. You can also find information and advice about suicidal thoughts in our guide for parents and carers.