How having a stutter affects my mental health

Topics mentioned: anxiety, self-esteem, friends, bullying

About: Sophie, 16, shares her experience of having a stutter (or stammer), how it's affected her mental health, and her tips for speaking to someone who stutters.

Having a speech difficulty can affect anyone in the world, and I’m one of those people. Mine started when I first started to talk, however going to a speech therapist to treat it before it got worse really helped me. It didn’t come back severely until I started secondary school.

When I was 11, it did become more prominent and annoying. I had friends who didn’t understand the meaning behind a stutter and why it came back again. At the time, I was stressed over assignments and my anxiety wasn’t being kind to me. After three years in secondary school I did end up dropping out to be home-schooled due to my mental health.

When I left school, my stutter became milder, and I wasn’t as stressed. My mental health was also easier to manage once my stutter was stopping. It still happened when I wanted to get my words out quickly, or I would end up speaking over someone to try and get my words out before I stuttered again. It gets bad to the point where I just give up speaking to anyone who doesn’t know that I have a stutter.

In September last year, I started studying animal welfare at college, and it came back immediately. I felt so destroyed and angry, as if I had betrayed myself. I did make new friends who were wonderful to me and asked questions about my stutter when I spoke.

However, after a couple months at college, I found myself getting mocked and questioned more often, but not in a nice way. As if I was ‘weirder’ or much stranger than everyone else.

Strangers and my friends don’t understand how them mocking and copying my stutter makes me feel. Sometimes it’s even difficult for me to understand why I stutter. I only don’t stutter when I have tics, as I also have mild anxiety tics.

Having a severe stutter makes me feel incredibly alone in what I’m going through. People think a stutter is something you can stop whenever you wish – if it was, I would.

It’s affected my mental health so much, because having a stutter makes me feel different, and knowing that when I have something exciting to say, it’s impossible to get the words out.

• meeting new people
• starting a new job
• interviews
• ordering food
• phone calls
• talking over background noises
• overcrowded places
• unexpected questions

If having a stutter or stammer affects your mental health too, you are not alone. There is lots of information and support out there to help you.