Body dysmorphic disorder: my journey to self-acceptance

Topics mentioned: body dysmorphic disorder, body image, social media and mental health

About: What we see in the media can often lead to an idealised perception of beauty. For one of our bloggers, this meant they struggled to accept their own body image and believe in their self-worth. Here they tell their story of body dysmorphic disorder and how they found support.

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental health condition, which impacts the lives of millions across the globe. Characterised by the constant worry over your appearance, it led to damaging consequences for my mental health. This obsession manifests into various aspects of life including personal relationships, work and overall health. If this resonates, you're not alone as it is estimated 1-2 in every 100 people experience BDD.

BDD doesn’t discriminate in age. This battle started when I was just 10 years old, engaging in social media, watching movies, performers and singers. Through air-brushed and selective representation within the media, the portrayal of such idealised beauty standards created a narrow and unattainable definition of beauty. It's crucial to know that trying to keep up with these standards is incredibly toxic as beauty is always subjective.

But as a young impressionable girl, I never thought to question why the media praises such rigid standards - instead, I questioned my own self-worth. Why are my arms so big? Why is my nose not button-sized? Why don't my thighs have a gap? What is the point of me? But now I know that my body and how I look is never the problem and does not determine my self-worth.

While I watched others relish in their youth, mine was consumed by the fear of my own body. Mirrors truly became my worst enemy. I either spent hours finding flaws or avoided mirrors completely. I was a prisoner in my own skin. I didn’t just feel uncomfortable, I felt disgusted in myself. My biggest fear was being seen by others. I said no to friends wanting to hang-out, I said no to buying new clothes and most importantly, I said no to happiness.

The raw truth is that insecurities still creep out from time to time. But I now nurture them with love like an old friend. I’ve learnt to accept perceived ‘flaws’ and give myself a chance to live. By saying yes to more opportunities and by wearing those clothes that before I’d always saved until I was ‘skinny enough’, I became my own best friend.

Our bodies are a beautifully complex fortress, designed to nurture and sustain life. There's nothing else that can protect us the way our skin does on a daily basis. Your body is to be lived in, not ripped apart. Once you start this journey of self-love, it becomes impossible to abandon.