What is ADHD?
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental or neurodivergent condition. It affects the way someone thinks, feels and behaves. ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
If your child has ADHD, they may struggle with remembering and organising things. Or with regulating their attention and energy. They may also show strengths such as being especially energetic, spontaneous or enthusiastic about a hobby or interest. Helping your child to manage ADHD at home and school can be challenging as a parent or carer. But the right diagnosis and support can make a big difference to your child’s learning and relationships, as well as making family life easier.
Common signs of ADHD
A child with ADHD may find it difficult to manage their attention, which can look like:
- being easily distracted
- finding it difficult to start or finish tasks
- feeling unable to concentrate sometimes
- finding it hard to process or remember what someone is saying
- finding it hard to follow instructions
- forgetting things or being late
They may also show differences in their energy, including:
- often fidgeting, squirming or moving around
- finding it hard to stay still when asked to
- being very talkative or noisy, or interrupting conversations
- seeming impulsive or risk-taking – for example a younger child might find it hard not to climb on things that aren’t safe
- often being ‘on the go’ or seeming full of energy
Remember that these behaviours can be normal for younger children, especially if they’re under 5. Children and young people can also behave in these ways when they’re tired, stressed or have been through something traumatic.
ADHD signs often start in early childhood. But they may become more noticeable during big changes, such as starting or moving school. Age and gender can also affect how someone with ADHD behaves. This can make it harder to spot some of the signs. For example, ADHD symptoms in girls are more likely to be missed or wrongly diagnosed as something else.
Getting an ADHD assessment
If you think your child or young person may have ADHD, make an appointment with their GP. The GP can refer them for an assessment. ADHD can only be assessed and diagnosed by a specialist such as a paediatrician or a child psychiatrist. These are doctors who specialise in children and young people’s health.
Before the appointment, talk to their teacher and the school SENCO (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator). Explain that you’re asking for an assessment. Ask them to write a short paragraph for the GP summarising your child’s behaviour and experiences at school, as well as any support they’re getting. You can also use our resource to get ready for the GP appointment and think about what to say. The GP will want to understand how things are affecting their learning, school and home life, relationships and mental health.
Waiting lists for ADHD assessments can be long. In England, NHS Right to Choose means that you can ask your GP to refer your child to an assessment service in a different part of the country. You do not have to be referred to the service that’s nearest you. Ask your GP how long the wait time is in your area and whether you can be referred to another area with a shorter waiting list.
Getting an ADHD diagnosis
There is no single test for ADHD. Specialists will base the diagnosis on a combination of:
- observing your child
- doing questionnaires or tests
- understanding your experience as their parent/carer
- getting information from school
The specialist will consider how long it's been going on and the impact on your child’s life. They will also think about different conditions like autism, dyslexia or dyspraxia.
Finding support
If your child is diagnosed with ADHD, the support they’re offered will depend on what they’re experiencing. It may include help and changes at school, as well as advice about strategies at home. You may be offered parent support sessions to help you understand and support your child’s ADHD.
If it’s an affordable option, you can also think about private support. This could be parent support or coaching with someone who specialises in supporting parents and carers of children with ADHD. Or it could be a therapist or another kind of professional who specialises in supporting and affirming neurodivergent young people.
Some children and young people are offered medication and/or therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Many children with ADHD do not take medication. But if the professional thinks this could be a suitable option, they will discuss this with you. ADHD medication must be prescribed and overseen by a specialist such as a psychiatrist.
How can I help my child with ADHD?
Remember that your child may find some things more difficult when they have ADHD. Try not to get angry or frustrated with them when they’re struggling.
Talk slowly and calmly. Break tasks like getting ready for school down into simple steps. For example, say: "first brush your teeth, then put on your shoes", rather than, "get yourself ready for school".
Be clear and consistent about behaviour that is not okay, such as hitting. But remember to separate your child from the behaviour. It’s okay that they’re feeling upset or overwhelmed – but it’s not okay to hit. Help them to find other ways of expressing these feelings. Your child may need help to remember what you’ve said to them. Try to stay calm and clear, without getting frustrated if they get forget.
Explain ADHD to their siblings and other family members. Talk about how everyone has different needs, and everyone’s brain works in a different way. Make sure the family’s attention isn’t always focused on your child’s ADHD. Teach other family members to avoid negative labels like ‘the naughty one’ or ‘the noisy one’.
Help your child to find the things that help them manage their daily tasks. This might be:
- checklists
- visual timetables
- sticky notes with reminders (in key places like the front door or desk)
- phone alarms
Try things out and work together to find what helps them. This will support them to develop their organisational skills.
Notice when your child listens, completes a task, gets ready for school or does anything they find challenging. Thank them for doing helpful things. Tell them you’re proud when they manage something difficult. Talk to them explicitly about their strengths and the things they’re good at. Point out successful role models who have ADHD and talk about their skills. Young people with ADHD can hear negative comments from others about the things they struggle with. It can make a huge different to their self-esteem to hear positive comments from you.
Look for signs that your child is becoming frustrated or over-stimulated. Help them learn how to manage these feelings and to remove themselves from certain situations when needed. A diary of times and triggers can be helpful.
Any child or young person can go through tough times. But having ADHD can bring extra challenges, such as struggling to manage feelings or getting into trouble at school. This can leave your child feeling low about themselves or more worried.
Encourage them to talk about how they’re feeling with you. Our starting a conversation guide has ideas for keeping communication open. Our A-Z guide has lots of advice for parents about common mental health challenges.
Parent and carer groups can really help by connecting you with people who know what it’s like. They can also be a great source of new ideas and strategies. You can look for options online. Or you can start with your local parent and carer forum. This is a group of local parents whose children have SEND (Special Educational Needs or Disabilities). You can search for this online or use Contact’s directory.
Working with your child’s school
Good and regular communication between you and your child’s school can be really helpful. ADHD is a Special Educational Need (SEN). This means that the school should provide support to help your child thrive in their learning and social life. This could include changes like:
- being able to move around in lessons
- support with moving between lessons
- being given written instructions for tasks
- getting extra time or rest breaks for exams
It could also include emotional and social support like mentoring, counselling or peer groups.
If your child is experiencing challenges at school, ask for a meeting with their teacher and the school’s SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator). Talk together about what might help. Remember that the support the school offers should be based on their needs, not a diagnosis. If your child is on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment, or you’re still exploring what might be going on, the school should still offer support.
If your child is experiencing anxiety about school or feeling like they can’t go, we’ve got lots of advice in our guide for parents and carers.
If your child’s needs cannot be met by the school, they may be able to have an assessment for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). This is carried out by your local authority. It outlines how the extra support your child needs will be provided. As their parent or carer, you can ask the local authority to carry out an EHC assessment yourself. You do not need a referral from your child’s school. If your child is aged between 16 and 25, they can also ask for the assessment themselves. The National Autistic Society has more information on how EHCPs work.
ADHD in teenagers and beyond
If your child is becoming a teenager or young person, their needs and the support you give may be changing. But there are still lots of ways you can help:
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Build independence
Though your child may need extra support, it’s also important to help them develop their confidence and self-esteem. Help them to feel more in charge of decisions about the support they get, like help at school, therapy or medication. Support them to communicate with others about their ADHD and needs.
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Understand new challenges
Talk together about new life experiences and challenges. Make conversations about things that could be risky, like alcohol or drugs, a normal part of family life. Be open about the stress and worry that can come with growing older. Help them plan ahead for the things they find challenging.
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Support transitions
Changes like leaving school, or starting university or work, might feel challenging. Help them find strategies and sources of support. We’ve got lots of tips about starting university in our guide for parents and carers.
Looking after yourself
If your child is struggling, things might feel really tough sometimes. Supporting them and finding your way through school and other services can be overwhelming. Sometimes parents and carers feel judged or blamed by others, which isn’t fair. It’s entirely understandable if you are finding things difficult.
It’s important to recognise the impact it’s having on you, and to think about ways you can take care of yourself. This might be getting support from other people so you can take some time off. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust.
For more on looking after yourself, read our guide for parents and carers.
Useful helplines and websites
While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.
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YoungMinds Parents Helpline
We support parents and carers who are concerned about their child or young person's mental health. Our Parents Helpline provides detailed advice and information, emotional support and signposting.
You can speak to us over the phone or chat to us online.
You can speak to us over webchat between 9.30am and 4pm from Monday-Friday. When we’re closed, you can still leave us a message in the chat. We’ll reply to you by email in 3-5 working days.
- Opening times:
- 9.30am-4pm, Monday-Friday
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Contact
Provides support, information and advice for families with children with disabilities or other conditions including ADHD. Also runs family workshops and activities.
Free online chat service available.
- Opening times:
- 9:30am - 5pm, Monday - Friday
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Parenting Mental Health
Digital support community and charity offering information, peer support, facilitated listening circles, mentoring and courses for parents of children with mental health difficulties.
Founder Suzanne Alderson’s book Never Let Go - How to Parent Your Child Through Mental Illness (Penguin, 2020) outlines how she supported her daughter to recovery after she became depressed and suicidal.
This page was reviewed in May 2025.
It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with ADHD.
We will next review the page in 2028.
YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK – the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
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