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Loneliness

It’s normal to feel lonely sometimes, but it can be tough to cope with. If you’re feeling lonely right now, we’re here for you. Here are some things you can try to make yourself feel better.

Everyone can feel lonely or isolated at times. It can happen to anyone, no matter your age, gender, race, sexuality, or anything else. While it can feel really tough, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. We all want to feel connected to people, and loneliness often comes when you’re lacking that sense of connection. This can happen when you’re not around people at all, or when you’re around lots of people but they just don’t get you. It can also happen when you don’t feel your relationships are meaningful enough.

Loneliness isn’t a mental health problem on its own. But it can change how you feel. It might make you feel low, lost and bad about yourself. Likewise, if you’re struggling with your mental health, you might find it harder to be around people or just want to stay inside. That can feel quite isolating. Whatever you’re going through, there are things you can try out to help with how you’re feeling.

Loneliness and being alone are different feelings. Being alone doesn’t always mean you feel lonely. It’s normal to want to spend time by yourself or not want to have lots of friendships. But for some people this can make them feel isolated. Everyone is unique and feels differently in the same situations. But it’s what feels right to you and not to anyone else.

I wish I had understood that school is not the only chance of making friends and that there would be other opportunities to make friends. Friendships change and people grow apart and that is okay – especially when you are young and growing and finding out about yourself and what you like and what you want to be.
Hannah, 20
What I learnt when I lost a friendship

What to try when you're feeling lonely

Feeling lonely is a normal part of life and can happen for lots of different reasons. But if feeling lonely is making you feel low, there are things that can help. Here are some things you could try.

It can be tough spending time on your own, especially if it’s making you feel low. But taking some time for yourself to do the things you enjoy and treating yourself with kindness can help build your confidence and self-esteem. It’s okay to take that time just for you.

Find ways to express who you are, even if the people around you don’t get you. You could do this through art, fashion, music or dance – however you like to show the world who you are.

Try journaling how your mood changes over time. Having this can help you see what’s happening in your life and how it’s making you feel.

Finding a new hobby or joining a local group can feel scary, especially if it’s a new place where people might already know each other. But it can be a great way to meet likeminded people or to try out something you’ve always wanted to.

Volunteering for something that’s important to you means you’re not just doing something you care about but also can be a great way to meet people. If you want to give volunteering a go but don’t know where to start, Vinspired can help you find opportunities in your area.

If you’re feeling lonely, it’s hard to reach out to people who get what you’re going through. Social media can help you find groups or communities of people who feel the same way. Finding these online spaces can sometimes be a supportive environment.

If there’s something that you love and you feel passionate about, there will be other people out there who feel the same. Look out for groups that you like the sound of – you never know who you might meet and the things you might be able to do.

If you’re finding things tough, reach out to someone you trust. That could be a family member, teacher, faith leader or friend. You could also talk to your GP if you’re struggling. They’ll listen, link you with local services and groups, and might offer some treatment if you need additional support. It can feel like a lot to talk to someone about loneliness, but it’s a common feeling so they will be able to help.

Get advice on reaching out for help

Extra advice on social media

  • Social media can be a great way to connect with friends, find out what’s going on and keep up with trends. But it can also make you feel lonely, especially if you compare yourself with influencers or people’s picture-perfect lives.

    Even if you have lots of friends or feel happy in your social life, you might still compare yourself to other people. If you’re already feeling lonely or low, this can feel much harder, and it make it tough to know who to reach out to. But remember that people don’t always post what’s really going on in their lives online.

    If social media helps you to feel less lonely, that’s great. But if it’s making you feel worse, our social media and mental health guide might help.

Guide to social media and mental health
A girl sitting in the park wearing headphones. She is looking down at her phone and listening to music.
There have been times at university where I've felt homesick and lonely. In my experience, the reality of being away from your family and friends sinks in when you're alone in your room. I think it's very important to have some strategies in place from the beginning to help manage homesickness and loneliness.
Laura, 20
How to deal with feeling homesick or lonely at university

Real stories about loneliness

Three students walking down a school corridor.
As a young teenager, all I wanted to do was fit in, yet my decisions caused me to become an outsider. I’d never felt more lonely.
Melissa
How to stay true to yourself when experiencing peer pressure

Get help now

Even though it might feel like it right now, you are not alone. Here are some organisations who can support you. 

More information and advice

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