They can lift your mood when you're feeling low, make you laugh, and offer you support. Talking things through with a friend can often help you figure out how you're feeling too. And sometimes, your friend might even notice something’s off before you do.
But even though friends are great, friendships can be tricky sometimes, and it's okay to struggle with them too. Our guide can help you understand what a healthy friendship looks like and give you advice on how to reach out to friends if you’re struggling.
My friends constantly made sure that however different I felt, they would treat me the same, which they did, mental illness or not.
Having friends just listening is really helpful a lot of the time, just having someone to talk about things with.
They’ve tried to cheer me up by sending me links to funny memes or sometimes we just sit and have coffee together - they don’t always need to say anything, sometimes it’s just good to have some company.
My friends help me by being mindful of social anxiety, especially at parties, and checking in with me beforehand.
Talking to friends and family lifted so much weight off my chest and made me feel understood. It made me feel less ashamed about how I was feeling.
I feel like I have a support network that I can confide in now.
Friendships can be tricky, and we all struggle with them at some point. It’s normal to have arguments or feel less close to friends at different points in your life. You might fall out with a friend or grow apart because:
Most of the time, talking things through can help you understand each other better and might even make your friendship stronger. But sometimes, friendships can become unhealthy, and it's important to recognise the signs.
If your friend is doing any of these things, or making you feel this way, you might be in an unhealthy friendship.
Sometimes friends don’t realise they’re doing this, or they keep doing it even after you've asked them to stop. What really matters is how the friendship makes you feel. And it’s your choice if you want to continue that friendship or not.
If you're struggling with a friendship, it might help to talk to your friend about how they’ve been treating you. It’s normal to feel nervous or worry about their reaction, but setting boundaries and being clear about your feelings is important for your mental health. Here are a few tips to help:
Try to talk to your friend calmly and explain how you’re feeling without getting into a big argument. Childline has tips on how to do this.
If your friend constantly asks you for help and it’s stressing you out, it’s a good idea to set boundaries so you can look after yourself. Our guide to supporting a friend has more advice on how to do this.
When a friendship becomes unhealthy, it can affect your mood and self-esteem. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help or contact a helpline if you need.
Stop, take time and reflect on what is making this friendship seem unhealthy.
Support can come in many different ways. A way that’s often overlooked is supporting yourself. Take yourself out of the situation, take a step back and learn to be your own friend for a while.
Always talk to those closest to you about how you feel. If you are having problems with a particular group or individual, address it either with them or speak to a trusted adult.
Join some extra-curricular clubs or activities you’re interested in outside of school to find friends who have similar interests to you and might make more of an effort to understand.
Try to make friends with those who seem more like acquaintances, as they might become friends.
If you are on your own, new friendships may be just around the corner.
Opening up to a friend about your mental health is a huge step toward feeling better, but it can be pretty intimidating. You might feel nervous about what to say or how to share your feelings, and that’s totally okay. Here are some tips to make it easier:
Find a quiet spot and time where you won’t be interrupted and you can talk freely.
Be honest about what’s going on with you. Your friend will appreciate your openness.
If you’re not ready for others to know, tell your friend. If they’re really worried about your safety, they might need to talk to a trusted adult, but that doesn’t mean you can’t set limits.
Here's a short message to remind you that better days are coming.
Video description: Charis is a Black young person wearing a green cardigan and glasses. They are in a room with plants and books and are sharing a message in British Sign Language. The message is 'Everything in life is temporary, so when life is good make sure you enjoy and receive it fully. And when life isn’t good remember that it will not last forever and better days are on the way. And staying positive does not mean you have to be positive all the time because that is not possible. It means that even in the hard days, there are better days coming.'
40 second watch
Sometimes, friendships just come to an end. You might have tried to work things out after a fight, but it didn’t pan out, or maybe they just weren’t treating you right. Friendships can also fade away naturally—you might not even know why, but you just stop keeping in touch. People grow apart, and that’s totally okay.
When a friendship ends, it can hit hard. Friends are there for us through everything—they're like our chosen family. So, moving on can feel really tough, but things can definitely get better with time.
Grieving the loss of a friend who has died is incredibly tough. It’s important to allow yourself to feel and process those emotions. If you need support, reaching out to someone you trust can help, and there are things you can do to help you through this difficult time. It’s okay to take your time to grieve. Everyone’s journey is different. If you need help with managing grief and loss, we have advice in our guide.
It’s totally normal to compare yourself to your friends, and their influence can often help shape who you are. But sometimes, that influence can become stressful. If you feel pressured by friends or peers to do something you’re not comfortable with, like taking drugs or drinking alcohol, or other risky behaviours, that’s called peer pressure. If this is happening, it’s important to say how you feel and say no. If your friends keep pushing you, talk to a trusted adult about it or reach out for professional help.
Remember, good friendships are built on respect. A true friend won’t pressure you into anything that doesn’t feel right for you. Here are some tips to help you cope with peer pressure:
If you feel uncomfortable in any way, it means that something about the situation is wrong for you. Listen to that feeling and be confident in deciding to step away.
Come up with a pre-planned excuse to help you get out of a situation. For example, if you want to leave a party, say you have an early morning tomorrow.
Seek out friends who accept your choices and make you feel comfortable. You deserve friends who will support you when you need it.
If you’re going to a party where you might face pressure to drink or take drugs, think ahead about how you’ll handle it. Decide what you’ll say and practise saying it if it helps.
Know what’s important to you and stand by your values. If you don’t want to smoke or drink, be confident in that choice. You friends will likely respect that confidence.
You might experience peer pressure when looking at other people’s posts and images on social media. Other people’s posts can make you feel like you need to be following the same kind of lifestyle. For tips on this, read our guide to social media and mental health.
If you're having a tough time with a friend and don’t know who to turn to, there are people who can help you through it. Here are some organisations that offer support when you need it most.
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
Offers confidential advice and support for young people struggling with suicidal thoughts, as well as family and friends; and information about how to make a safety plan.
Its helpline service - HOPELINE247 - is available to anybody under the age of 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, or anybody concerned that a young person could be thinking of suicide.
Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.
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