Topics mentioned: anxiety, addiction, self-harm, reaching out for help
About: When Raylen got support for self-harm, addiction and mental health, it was scary, but worth it. They share their advice for anyone worried about opening up.
If you want this life to improve, asking others for help and wanting to get better is the first step. Find the strength within and ask yourself, 'what's the worst that could happen if I speak up?'
When I think back to when I was petrified of speaking up vs now, I realise that anxiety was making me believe horrible things would happen if I spoke up about what goes on inside my head. My worries were things like "they'll put me in a psychiatric ward" and "they'll tell my family everything". I even had multiple nightmares about it.
But when I told a professional, it meant they were able to support me better and get me on the road to recovery. Everything is confidential unless your life is in danger! Don't be afraid to ask about their confidentiality promise.
One thing I struggled with the most was speaking up and asking for the help I needed. I felt like I wasn’t bad enough, that I needed to be worse to be taken seriously. I thought I deserved to suffer. I always knew I was different to most people because of how I'd react to situations, whereas most other people would be a lot calmer. I'd be searching for anything to make the pain stop. My mental health began to take over, others would notice but they thought I was just being "dramatic" and a "drama queen" so that pushed me to stay quiet.
![A young Black woman and an older Black woman leaning their heads on each other's shoulders and smiling. Their eyes are closed.](/media/l1ib1ztr/two-people-with-heads-on-each-others-shoulders-eyes-closed-smiling.png?quality=55)
Now I've realised it doesn’t matter what others say – we only live once. If you want this life to improve, asking others for help and wanting to get better is the first step. Find the strength within and ask yourself, "what's the worst that could happen if I speak up?"
If you feel like you aren't "bad enough" for help, please don’t wait until things are really bad. You already deserve support right now, and whoever you choose to talk to can help you with those thoughts too. Don't be afraid to ask for more help if that's what you need – and don’t be afraid to put yourself first! I didn't realise how bad I was until I was barely leaving my room, planning out relapses, and being unable to wear short clothing in summer or when I was hot.
I thought if I spoke up they'd say I was "crazy" and institutionalise me, but when I spoke up, I realised how much better I felt. Of course, I still struggled – it doesn't go away overnight. But now that I've spoke up, I can receive the treatment I deserve and need without my anxiety making me petrified about asking for help. Never be ashamed for needing help. It isn't easy to speak up at all, but once you do, I promise it gets easier to talk.
If you are experiencing or recovering from addiction and/or other mental health struggles, please don't be afraid to speak up. Recovery is possible - you deserve happiness and stability in life.
If you feel like you aren't 'bad enough' for help, please don’t wait until things are really bad. You already deserve support right now, and whoever you choose to talk to can help you with those thoughts too.
More information and advice
We have tips and advice to help you find the support you need. Take a look at our guides.
Where to get help
However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.
-
Samaritans
Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.
- Opening times:
- 24/7
-
CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)
Provides support to anyone aged 16+ who is feeling down and needs to talk or find information.
Free webchat service available.
Read information about the helpline and how it works.
- Opening times:
- 5pm - midnight, 365 days a year
-
Youth Access
Provides information about local counselling and advice services for young people aged 11-25.
Put in your location and what you need help with into their 'Find help' search, and see what services are available in your area.