Why I decided to try medication for my mental health

Topics mentioned: medication, anxiety, depression

About: Tegan, 18, was anti-medication for her anxiety and depression, but changing her mind helped her understand that asking for help does not mean giving up.

I have suffered from multiple mental illnesses all my life. However, I have always tried to opt for non-medication methods of dealing with this.

This was until my most recent diagnosis which was for mixed anxiety and depressive disorder. I was finding it so hard to cope, my GP and I decided that trying out medication would be a good idea.

At first, I was very anti-taking medication for my mental health. I knew that there were some unpleasant side effects that I didn't really want to experience. I was also worried that once I started taking medication, I’d be on it for a very long time. I was handling things by myself, so I didn't want to put unnecessary medication into my body. I felt I could deal with it on my own.

I have always had the view that it's a personal choice whether or not people take medication. If it works well for others then that's amazing, but medication wasn’t something I was interested in long term. But once I found the right medication for me and got better, I realised it was definitely the best choice for me.

I was originally given one type, but this caused a flare-up of my migraines that had me in agony at least three days a week when I normally only get them about three times a year. So, I had to stop taking that one and was prescribed another at my next medication review. Apart from slightly blurred vision at times, I got on really well with this medication and it made me feel as though I wanted to be here again.

I never intended to take the medication forever and after a few months I was feeling much better, and a plan was put in place with my GP to come off it. Medication got me out of the place I was in where I didn't want to be here anymore. It's not that I wanted to hurt myself, it's that I couldn't imagine carrying on feeling the way I did.

Since being off medication, things have understandably been harder, but I am now coping better with my conditions. It also helps knowing that if I ever feel overwhelmed again, I know what works for me and that there is help out there.

I also referred myself for therapy through NHS Talking Therapies, and I currently have appointments booked in for the future.

Looking back, I am so glad about every decision that I made and can see that asking for help wasn’t me giving up, but rather me accepting that I don’t have to do everything alone and that there is help if I want it. I just have to ask.