Topics mentioned: OCD, anxiety, feeling down and unable to cope
About: If you're feeling lost and anxious after graduating uni, you're not alone. Olivia shares her experience of finishing uni, moving back home and coping with change and uncertainty.
Hold space for any feelings you have about graduation, and don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad and lost during a time of transition and change.
As I take pictures with my parents at my graduation, I’m acutely aware that this is the biggest my world has ever been – and that it is about to get much smaller.
I’ll pack up the car to move my boxes back to my childhood bedroom, leaving behind the independent life I’ve built at university. I’m used to the freedom and independence that I’ve found at university, and moving home shakes the foundations of this life I’ve built, turning me into a teenager again. Needless to say, graduation has left me feeling lost.
I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) in my first year of university. My already turbulent transition to independence became even more fraught as I adjusted to my diagnosis, built my support system and fought to access treatment. I’ve worked hard to build my life at university in a way that supports my OCD recovery and allows me to live life to the fullest.
The independence I have now is miles away from the struggles I had during my first year and leaving it behind to move home feels like a step backwards.
Like many new graduates, I’m not sure what my future holds. I know I’m moving back home, to my childhood bedroom where I will be dependent on lifts from family once again. I know I’ve finished what was my purpose for four years - studying for my degree.
Now, four years of work has culminated in a piece of A4 paper with my name on, and I have to find a new purpose. I have to face the world of work, something I feel both unprepared and excited for.
My tips for anyone feeling lost after graduating uni
Graduation is a scary time, but it’s also exciting. Here are some of the steps I’ve taken to look after myself and find my way while I’m a little lost after university:
First, you should feel proud of your achievement - graduating is no easy feat! Take time to celebrate, connect with friends and family, and feel proud of your hard work.
It’s scary to graduate and be thrust into the adult world, and it’s sad to leave behind your university life. Hold space for any feelings you have about graduation, and don’t beat yourself up for feeling sad and lost during a time of transition and change. You’re a person, and people are complex – any feelings you have are valid and you’re allowed to experience all of them!
Take some time to relax and enjoy your life post-graduation. University is hard work, and you deserve a rest! Feeling lost after graduation, I’ve tried to throw myself into hobbies and find a new ‘purpose’ – but taking a break has let me reset and deal with my real feelings about graduating.
Through my OCD therapy, I’ve learnt that the best way to manage my anxiety is by accepting uncertainty. Tolerating uncertainty is unpleasant – as humans, we want to be completely certain about our futures. So, graduating and leaving behind my university life and the routine of classes, lectures, and pesto pasta means I’m forced to adjust to a new uncertainty.
I’m not sure how I’ll find living at home. I’m not sure how I’ll adjust to losing my university routines. I’m not sure how I’ll go about keeping in contact with my friends. But I do know that I have done hard things before, and I can do this hard thing, even if it requires some adjustment.
Have faith in yourself and know that this strange time affects all students when we graduate – you’re not alone. Reach out to your support network, and have confidence that you can handle this transition, and that a new, exciting chapter is about to begin. There’s a lot to be nervous about, sure, but there’s even more to be hopeful and excited for.
There’s a lot to be nervous about, sure, but there’s even more to be hopeful and excited for.
More information and advice
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Where to get help
However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.
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Childline
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
- Opening times:
- 24/7
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Shout
Text SHOUT to 85258.
Shout provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.
All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.
Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.
Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.
- Opening times:
- 24/7
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Youth Access
Provides information about local counselling and advice services for young people aged 11-25.
Put in your location and what you need help with into their 'Find help' search, and see what services are available in your area.