What to do if you cry in public (and why it's okay)

Topics mentioned: self-care, reaching out for help

About: Crying in public can happen to anyone, but can often leave you feeling vulnerable and alone. Beth shares why it’s okay to let it happen.

We’ve all been there - that awful feeling that tears are on their way, and you’re in a public place.

When tears are coming, it’s often impossible to stop them, which, if you are sat at home, wrapped in a blanket with some chocolate to get you through it, is absolutely fine. I love a good, long cry - it is so cathartic. But what on earth do you do when the tears come and you’re in public?

I’ve cried in plenty of public places, like on the train or in a long queue. It’s completely normal! We can’t always regulate our emotions, and I’m a firm believer that crying is really helpful. We should embrace the tears when they come, not try and hide them!

Once I cried when I was at the bank. It was really, really awkward. The cashier was shocked. I was shocked. The people in the queue were shocked. Why on earth was I crying? I needed to stop, quickly, but my body was LOVING releasing the tension and stress of the last few months and it wasn’t going to stop. Instead I was ushered away, given a private side room and left to cry in peace as I counted the money I had brought with me to the bank.

Often, a really small thing triggers my tears. A staff member being a bit rude, something unexpected happening, overhearing something that brings back bad memories - they can all happen at any time! We can be embarrassed about crying about something so small, but of course it is not the real reason. The cause of my tears is often something bigger, that I might have been ignoring or juggling for a while, but it is the small inconvenience that causes the tears to actually roll down my cheeks.

If you have a mental health condition, you’ll know how completely horrible it feels when you can’t cope. You feel helpless, isolated, vulnerable, and you wish that there was someone around who understood. Except, if someone approached you and tried to help, you would probably feel even more mortified and want even more to run and hide – I know I would.

So what on earth do you do when you are crying in public? I know how scary and embarrassing that is, so below are my tips.

Believe me, you are not the first person to cry in public – at work, out shopping, at a friend’s house, there are so many “inappropriate” places to cry and everyone has already cried there so you are not the first! Join the crying club with pride and accept that it’s a natural human response to pressure.