What I wish had happened when I first reached out for help

Topics mentioned: anxiety, reaching out for help

About: Taryn, 17, reflects on the first time she reached out for help for social anxiety and why she thinks we need better mental health education for all.

We've all heard of mental health, but as I've come to learn, not many people actually understand what it truly is. It can sometimes be treated as a taboo topic. This suffocating stigma can make it really difficult to reach out for help when we need it. How many people have to suffer before something changes?

I remember when I began to really struggle with my mental health. Supposedly simple tasks felt impossible, I didn't know what to do and I couldn't see a way out. At the time mental health and illness was something that I unfortunately had little knowledge on. I therefore had to do some research on my own.

It was scary and eye-opening, but necessary. It made me think, ‘why are we not being taught this at school?!’

I came across social anxiety disorder and it amazed me how much I recognised what I was feeling and experiencing. It explained the constant nausea, trembling and more. I finally felt understood.

I decided to tell an adult about what I’d discovered in the hopes of getting a diagnosis and finding help. I finally plucked up the courage only to be met with disbelief and scepticism. I was told I was making it up and just needed to 'get over it.’ This made me feel more alone and stopped me from getting the help I needed. I fell further into a pit of despair with my symptoms worsening.

As I reflect on the first time I reached out for help, I realise that there was a lack of knowledge and understanding. They didn't know much about mental health and thought I was just being dramatic.

This is why I believe we should be educating everyone on mental health, making it easier for people to reach out and get the help we desperately need before it's too late.

Fortunately, I had an art teacher who recognised the signs and reached out to me. She saved my life. But again, she wasn't fully equipped to help me with what I was going through. And although she tried her best, many steps she felt she had to take due to outdated school rules only created distance between us.

This made me feel more alone. Now I could no longer talk to the one person I thought actually had my back.

These incidents showed me the importance of educating everyone on mental illness and how to help those struggling. Maybe if everyone knew more about mental health and illnesses then we’d be able to support more young people and stop them from reaching crisis point.

What do I wish more people understood about mental health and illness? I wish people could realise that it's very real. It affects everyone differently. We're not being dramatic and shouldn't be told to just 'get over it.’

If we all come together then we can help make sure that the next generation grows up in a world where it's okay and normal to talk about how you feel and not be judged.

When I first reached out for help, all I wanted was for them to show that they cared by checking in with me. I didn’t need them to ‘fix’ me. I just wanted them to be there and not give up on me like everyone else. Instead of seeing me as a nuisance or a burden, I just needed them to see me as a person.

My advice to anyone who has experienced something similar or is afraid to reach out for help, is to remember that you and your feelings are valid. Unfortunately, you are always going to meet someone who doesn't understand and instead invalidates your feelings. But there will always be people who do care and want to help.

I urge you not to give up hope. I know it's hard, but you are not alone. I promise you that. Your best might look different each day and that's okay. Be proud of how far you've come.