Remaining connected: isolation as a Disabled person

Topics mentioned: disability and mental health, loneliness, friends, social media

About: For Claire, socialising can be isolating as a young Disabled person. She shares tips for finding community and how good friendships support her mental health.

Personal Assistant (PA) - someone who supports a Disabled person with any aspect of everyday life they may need help with.

I write this blog as someone who has always been on the periphery of interactions. I am very much an observer and that will never change. It’s natural for me to observe, listen and learn before diving into the topic of conversation. But even though I’m more of an observer, connecting with others is important to me. It’s important for everyone either online or in person.

As a Disabled person myself, I find connection and socialising to be quite complex and often feel quite isolated. Being disabled means that I rely on 24/7 care and cannot go out on my own. This leads to some quite obvious barriers when thinking about meeting new people or maintaining friendships in person. Aside from practical elements such as ‘will my PA be available?’ and ‘is the venue accessible?’ there are many other aspects that I have only now considered in adulthood.

I have only now realised that having Disabled friends who have similar lived experiences is really valuable to me. We can chat about things like fatigue and needing full-time care quite openly, while enjoying discussions about our interests and other topics that come to mind. There’s also the validation and affirmation that comes from engaging with peers and friends whose bodies move in a similar way to mine. I’ve been able to gain access to a sense of community I didn’t know I needed and take pride in my Disabled body. These are just a few positives of having Disabled friends, but there are so many more.

I feel very lucky and grateful to have gained these friendships thanks to my time at my specialist college for Disabled young people. Of course, I’m aware that many of you will not have access to the privilege of attending specialist education, but there are many other ways to find your tribe!

For many of you, socialising may be a high priority and something you think about regularly, eager to plan your next outing with friends. But for some of you, socialising won’t be the top of your agenda. Your own company can be great! But equally, developing a sense of self and being in control of our relationships is important for mental health and building a support network.

Ultimately, I feel that having knowledge about the Disabled community and how I socialise and communicate is protective and powerful for my own mental health. My passion and feeling of responsibility to help other Disabled people accept and feel confident about who they are has only increased.

So on that note, I hope this blog has given you some ideas for how to foster connection in your own life!