How to validate your feelings: however you are is perfectly okay

Topics mentioned: feelings and emotions, self-care

About: Things that may not seem like a big deal to others can make us upset, angry or worried. Yazmin shares her tips on how to validate your feelings.

We’ve all had those days where something small happens and it feels like the end of the world. Things that may not seem like a big deal to others can make us upset, angry or worried. That’s perfectly normal – after all, we’re all different. When this happens, it’s important to remember that how you feel is valid, even if others wouldn’t react the same way.

Here’s some advice on validating your own feelings and tips for managing your emotions.

The single best thing to do is to understand that how you’re feeling – even if it feels over the top – is completely valid. Pretending you’re fine is sometimes the best thing to do in a situation where you might not want to talk about it. But when you’re alone or with someone you trust, it’s important to let your emotions out. 

Everyone has their own emotions; we are all unique. We cannot control how we feel and pretending we’re fine can be very damaging. Loving yourself for having all these amazing emotions makes it a lot easier for yourself in the long run!

My top tip would be to set a ten-minute timer when you’re feeling low. In this ten minutes, think about all the reasons you feel like this; write it down, say it out loud, cry, shout, call a friend - or talk to yourself. But when the ten minutes are up, realise that although your emotions make you human, the negative ones do not have to control you all the time. YOU are in control of yourself, and giving yourself time to be upset is vital.

Little things can make you smile, no matter how low you’re feeling. From a funny video on YouTube to going for a run, doing something that will boost your mood and make you feel a bit better can be super beneficial. This can also help you get a bit of distance from how you’re feeling, which can help you avoid ruminating on it.

It can be helpful to find a way to track or cope with your emotions that feels right for you. Personally, I use a mood tracker and a gratitude page in my diary every single day, so I can write freely about how I’m feeling.

This also allows me to think about the good things surrounding me so I can see the bright side of life, even when I feel like there’s nothing good about to happen.

The diary has allowed me to be far more in touch with my feelings by colour-coding each day with how I felt overall, but also adding something little that made me happy gives me a much more positive outlook on life. 

Each day, think about how you are feeling. Ask yourself how you are and check up on how your day was. You can do it mentally, write it down as previously mentioned, or say it to yourself as you wake up and fall asleep each day.

Be honest with yourself - no one is judging you if you’re feeling down. Saying how you’re truly feeling is the first step to processing those feelings.

Validating your feelings is always important. You are allowed to feel however you want as you are going through your life, but when the bad seems to outweigh the good, you don’t need to pretend that everything’s fine. You’re doing great!