How to validate someone else’s feelings

Topics mentioned: feelings and emotions, supporting a friend with mental health, self-care

About: One of our bloggers shares their tips to help validate someone else's feelings and explains why it's important to approach our own with the same compassion.

I believe that for us to actually tackle our problems, the first step is acknowledging what they are and accepting that we’re experiencing them. But sometimes it can be difficult to do this if we have a tendency to be self-critical, as we might invalidate how we’re feeling.

However, it is really important to treat ourselves with compassion and understanding, free from judgement, just as we would with our friends or family members if they were struggling with something.

Validating our feelings means accepting whatever emotions we are feeling, even when what we’re feeling, or how strongly we’re feeling, surprises us. It is important to validate our feelings in order cope with things we are going through. It ensures that we are processing and dealing with our emotions, instead of sweeping them under the carpet and letting them build up. Allowing ourselves to feel the way we do is crucial to solving whatever is causing us to feel that way.

In the past, I have dismissed my feelings as I felt as though they weren’t important enough to talk about. I have compared my situation to other people’s and felt like my problems aren’t as significant and therefore don’t matter as much. However, I have learnt that this is not the case at all. Someone else’s feelings or problems don’t take away from our own - we are still entitled to feel the way we do, and our feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s.

It’s important to learn ways in which we can validate other people’s feelings. When someone opens up to us about the way they are feeling, it is vital to make sure they feel seen and heard. Here are some tips for how we can do this:

Validating our feelings is a healthy way to cope with what we are going through. Our emotions should be valued at all times - not just by others, but by ourselves too. There is no such thing as an insignificant feeling. If we feel a particular way, then that’s completely okay.

It is also important to know how to validate others. When someone opens up to us, they are putting themselves in a vulnerable state. Therefore, being accepting and compassionate is key for them to feel validated.

We should practise validating our own and others’ feelings by being kind and understanding, and remembering that all feelings are important, all the time.