How to cope with ending therapy or changing therapists

Topics mentioned: counselling and therapy, coping with change, coping with endings

About: Change and endings can really impact mental health, but you are not alone. Fabbiha shares her experience of mental health services and her tips for anyone struggling with ending therapy or changing therapists.

Endings can be hard for anyone, but they can be especially hard when ending therapy or changing therapists. Building rapport is important to establish a safe space to open up. It’s more than understandable to feel all sorts of emotions when this space comes to an end and everything you feel is more than valid.

Being under mental health services is difficult. I’ve been under services for almost four years now and I’ve dealt with many changes, some extremely difficult and others easier. Whether an ending or change is occurring for a positive reason or a negative reason, it’s still equally hard to deal with.

With my first therapist, it ended very quickly as it wasn’t the right support for me. This was a good change. But with my second therapist, my therapy ended after two years because I’d finished my time with them and was moving on to a new form of therapy.
This ending was more difficult, because I didn’t want to change therapists. I’d grown very fond of them because they just ‘got’ me and understood me better than anyone.

It truly felt like my world was ending - this is something that I find many young people feel in therapy as they often cling to the one person they find comfort in, because they understand them fully. I struggle profusely with change, so this was especially difficult because I’d known the therapist for so long.

But one thing a psychologist said to me changed my life and view of endings. He said, ‘sad goodbyes are often the best goodbyes because it means the time meant something’. This one sentence is the best thing I’ve ever heard. It gave me a new perspective on something that always felt so unsettling.

Two years down the line, I’ve ended work with another therapist who I’ve known for over a year, but they were my therapist while inpatient. This was more intense because I saw them every day, even when I didn’t have a session. I had to end the therapy abruptly as I turned 18 and was transitioned out of children’s services.

Changing to adult services can also be a very hard time for young people. And while I’m still in this transition phase, there are many things that have helped me understand endings and to process change.

Although things may be difficult right now, if you’ve gotten through something once, you can most certainly get through it again. You have that strength within you and even if it doesn’t feel like you do, it is still there. You just have to hold out until you can feel that again.