A group of young people sit on a picnic bench together in the park. They are smiling and talking together.

Five helpful reminders if you find Christmas difficult

  • 3 min read
  • 06 December 2019

Author: Elsa

Topics mentioned: family, self-care

About: Are you struggling with the Christmas season? Elsa shares five helpful things to remember if you're having a hard time this winter.

Remember it’s just another day

Christmas can be wonderful but it can be a real struggle for lots of people. I know how it feels to have days where you don’t really feel like going out or being with other people, and Christmas is just like every other day.

While everyone may be getting excited in the lead-up, remember to keep it in perspective. Christmas is another day of the year and you might not know how you’re going to feel. And that’s okay.

It was a special day for my friend but as much as I tried, it was difficult to make myself feel comfortable and happy in that environment.

Don’t be too hard on yourself

Christmas can be one of the loneliest times of the year for many people. I’ve found that sometimes the warmest, biggest and friendliest communities can feel like the most isolating. I remember going to a party once where I felt so out of place and uncomfortable that I had to leave after half an hour.

I put myself in an uncomfortable position because I didn’t want to let anyone down or for them to think that something was wrong. Looking back, I realise I shouldn’t have done that. It was a special day for my friend but as much as I tried, it was difficult to make myself feel comfortable and happy in that environment.

Keep the day in perspective for yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself because you don’t feel how others do.

Remember Christmas looks different for everyone

There’s a lot of pressure at this time of year to feel ‘happy’ because everyone else is. Christmas looks different for everyone and you should spend it in a way that makes you feel as relaxed as possible. That might be spending time with your friends and family, or it might be going for a walk, or watching your favourite film or reading a book.

It could be anything that you enjoy doing on a daily basis, but it should be down to you and where you feel most comfortable rather than feeling forced into situations.

Keep the day in perspective for yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself because you don’t feel how others do.

Do Christmas how you want to

Take time for yourself to do what you like.  You could organise something else for the day, like volunteer work or helping at a local event. First and foremost, you need to look after yourself, and you need to do that every day of the year. Have a think about some alternative things you could do this Christmas to make the day more enjoyable for yourself.

Take things at your own pace

Sometimes it’s good to make a few small New Year resolutions. You can work on them one by one and take small steps towards overcoming some difficulties that you might be facing. I’ve found that taking small steps is a lot more effective and can add up to big results.

It’s important not to push yourself too far so that it becomes unhealthy or too much for you. Take things at your own pace, setting out a few small goals for the year ahead and working towards them at your own pace. And remember to acknowledge all of the things that you are able to tick off!

Christmas is another day of the year and you might not know how you’re going to feel. And that’s okay.

More information and advice

We have tips and advice to help you find the support you need. Take a look at our guides.

Where to get help

However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.

  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    24/7
  • Shout

    Text SHOUT to 85258.

    Shout provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

    All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

    Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

    Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

    Opening times:
    24/7

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