Autism and intersectionality

Topics mentioned: autism, racism and mental health, gaming, bullying, school anxiety

About: Suzy Rowland is an author whose #happyinschool project, training and consultancy specialises in individual, parent and system support around autism and ADHD, rooted in lived-experience. Here she reflects on her son's experience as a Black autistic young person, and shares her tips for supporting your child with their own unique identity.

I’m writing this as a neurodivergent parent of an autistic teen, who endured a whirlwind of autistic and racial discrimination all through school. When I talk about ableism (discrimination against people with disabilities), it’s widely agreed that it’s wrong and painful. But when racial origin, gender or sexual identity are part of the conversation, people become less compassionate. It's hard to talk about autism and race in the same sentence, which leaves some autistic youngsters struggling to find out where they belong. As my son J said: “Sometimes I don’t know where I fit in.”

When Kimberleé Williams Crenshaw coined the term 'intersectionality' in 1989, the word was rooted in Black feminist activism, because she was a legal race scholar. From my experience, growing up in Birmingham to Caribbean parents, living inside black or brown skin can be both a blessing and a burden. People assume you’re a good dancer, a mugger, loud, defiant, seller of drugs. Autism is like that too. People (teachers, classmates etc.) assume you’re bossy, moody, naughty, opinionated. When you’re autistic (possibly with other conditions) and Black*, people’s assumptions leave you feeling misunderstood, ashamed, and alone. When you’re young, it’s hard to realise that you are not the problem – it’s often the people around you, who haven’t taken the time to get to know you.

I won’t sugar coat it: parenting a young autistic person requires a unique blend of parenting styles. When my son was at school, we faced down academic pressures, risks of school exclusion and difficulties with friendships. In the early years, I struggled with it all. Things only improved once I recognised we needed to adapt the manuals, as they weren’t working for us.

During his tweens, I had mixed feelings about how much of J’s spare time was spent online. On the plus side, he built strong connections with neurodiverse gaming tribes, resulting in a highly successful YouTube channel and lots of online friends. It was great to hear him laughing and chatting through the door, but there were downsides. Late nights meant tiredness at school and daytime irritability. There was online bullying and overt racist language. Being sensitive and autistic meant the unkind words harmed his self-esteem. Comparisons with online peers, technical issues with PCs, and all of it in techy language I couldn’t understand. These are the same challenges his autistic peers faced. With the added dimension of being Black and autistic.

Autistic people face discrimination in a non-autistic world. Black autistic people face this and racial discrimination too. That’s the crux of intersectionality; how do you define the origin of the discrimination your child may be experiencing when it is likely due to the combined effects of these?

Autism and intersectionality is a delicious pairing. The autistic young people I know who are of mixed heritage dazzle with compassion and determination. If they’re given space to figure out who they are, and encouraged to communicate their individual passions and dislikes, they become less interested in ‘fitting in’ and more interested in being their unique selves.

My Black autistic son meets autism and intersectionality head on. He’s achieved this through building awareness of himself as a Black male, and piecing together his unique autistic presentation. With growing confidence, he is aware enough to define and personalise his tribe. In his last year at college, he’s been Student Officer and supports the LGBTQ+ group. He describes himself as an ‘ally.’ I’ll take that.

*Black or brown people of African, Caribbean, Asian diaspora or heritage.