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Social pressures and relationships

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What young people think of themselves, the people in their lives and how they want to fix it

Young people feel the pressure of societal expectations but desire to be independent from the generations before them.

Here we explore their insights into the challenges facing society, and how this can impact their mental health.

Self-blame and pressure

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Young people often blame themselves for their problems and put pressure on themselves to think, act, or be a certain way. We found that girls are inclined to put more pressure on themselves than boys, and that self-blame worsens with age.

Those aged between 20-25 are particularly concerned about insecurities as they navigate adulthood.

Young people reported feeling pressure to maintain relationships and have good social lives, with worries about feeling lonely or isolated being almost universal. The vast majority also felt the need to maintain the status quo:

  • 88% felt they had to look or act a certain way to fit in
  • 86% felt they needed to do what society expected of them

Much of this pressure comes from themselves, social media, friends, or peers.

When I'm around others I fog up and suddenly that wall is thrown up, my mouth goes dry, and the most I can manage is a shrug.
I recently got a job as a waitress, which was extremely challenging for me... One of the hardest things I found was asking for help when I needed it, or owning up to my mistakes. I felt like I needed to do everything perfectly from the start.

Society and mental health

Two young people sitting together on a bench. One has their arm around the other.

More than three-quarters of young people believe that society has become more accepting of mental health issues, but they acknowledge that there is still a lack of support available for those who are struggling.

They're also aware of how society and public attitudes can impact mental health. They feel society needs to be more open-minded and less discriminatory, with increased empathy and acceptance of difference. Since this doesn’t reflect the experiences they’ve had in their daily lives, they want to change society for the better.

  • For those with health conditions and those identifying as Non-binary, LGBTQIA+ and Trans, public attitudes are more likely to affect mental health negatively. 

  • On speaking to Trans and Non-binary young people in more depth, they felt that that wider society treated them differently depending on how far they were with transitioning, and when asked to use the correct pronouns, they are often told that they are ‘asking too much.’

  • Young refugees and asylum seekers also felt that public perceptions of them were overly negative and perpetuated by the media.

Real stories from young people

The societal pressures to be or act a certain way, and the stigma around mental health, are deeply impacting young people like you. Public attitudes need to change if we want to protect your future.

Hear from other young people on coping with the stigma and pressures around mental health.

 

Cultural differences

We found that racialised young people experience different concerns to their white counterparts within their communities.

  • 80% of Asian young people and 82% of Black young people feel pressured to do what their culture expects of them.
  • 75% of Black and racialised young people overall feel pressure to do what their culture expects of them, in comparison to 28% of white young people.

When asked who or what made them feel this way, respondents overwhelmingly felt pressured by their families and carers, with 70% mentioning them as sources of pressure.

In the UK, Black British people are more likely to be diagnosed with psychosis, to encounter inpatient mental health services and to be detained under the Mental Health Act than white people – these are things we need to talk about.

Personal safety

A young person stands alone feeling left out by three friends standing together.

Bullying was also an issue for young people:

  • 85% told us they have some level of worry or pressure around bullying
  • a further 44% disclosed that they always or often worry about bullying

More broadly, girls and Non-binary young people were far more likely than males to worry about their own personal safety.

As for who or what drives their concerns, the majority of young people blame themselves, followed by the media, public attitudes, and police and law enforcement.

When I was 13 years old, my whole life was flipped upside down. I realised people who I thought would be my friends forever had turned against me and started to publicly embarrass me on social media.
Like many autistic people, I was bullied throughout my time at both primary and secondary school. It started when I was seven and had just moved to a new school.

Generational differences

Mother and daughter having a serious talk on the sofa

Young people belonging to minoritised groups were less likely to feel that their elders took their wellbeing and mental health seriously, and were less likely to trust their parents or carers with their struggles.

Intergenerational tensions were obvious across wider society too. Young people told us they'd like those in charge to listen, highlighting how older generations don't understand them and aren't listening to their experiences.

Being heard was the change most mentioned by young Black people, indicating that they feel particularly disconnected to and ignored by those in power.

What we found

  • Over half of Non-binary young people, and 42% of Trans young people, felt that their family or carers had a negative impact on their mental health.

  • The figures were similar for Asian young people and young people belonging to other ethnic groups.

It's not all doom and gloom

While young people struggle much of the time to feel safe and accepted by wider society, there's still appetite for change.

Young people acknowledge that the systems they interact with and their social circles have the power to turn their mental health around.

92% of young people think it's important to help different generations to understand each other.

Society has the power to improve our mental health

Three young people sit on a bench outside. The person on the right is chatting with the person in the middle of the bench who is looking at them and smiling. The person on the right is speaking to someone outside of the image.

Young people believe that their mental health can be positively impacted by factors like supportive relationships with friends and family, having enough money, and having access to good housing. They felt these were likely to be better for their mental health than mental health and community support services.

Friends and peers are the most trusted people to champion mental health, followed by activists and campaigners.

The factors that impact mental health positively can vary depending on the individual's unique situation.

  • Full-time parents are more likely to value good housing for bringing up a family.
  • Those in employment prioritise a supportive workplace with job security.
  • Non-binary, Trans, and young people from racialised backgrounds prioritise feeling comfortable in spaces where they can be themselves in relation to their gender, sexuality, or ethnicity.
  • Hindus, Sikhs, and Muslims also prioritise feeling comfortable to be themselves in regards to their ethnicity.

Despite the challenges wider society poses to their mental health, young people haven’t lost all hope.

They’ve shown that they’re determined to challenge the existing social order to create a more inclusive, equitable and harmonious society for all.

Information and advice for young people

If you're a young person affected by any of the issues mentioned here, know that you are not alone. For help and support, take a look at our information and advice guides.