Depression and low mood

It can help to start with an ‘I’ phrase like, ‘I’ve noticed you seem kind of down at the moment, can we have a chat about it?’. It can also help to start the conversation while you’re doing an activity, like walking or driving somewhere together. This can take the pressure off and make it easier for them to open-up. You can find more tips on starting a conversation in our guide for parents and carers.

Try not to ask too many questions or come up with quick solutions. Focus on listening and showing you can see it from their perspective. Thank them for telling you about it, remembering that they’ve taken a risk in opening-up. Let them know they can talk to you as often and for as long as they need to. Try not take it personally if you’re on the receiving end of anger or frustration sometimes. Being more irritable can be part of feeling low, especially for children and young people.

You can find more tips for making your child or young person feel really listened to in our blog.

Young people often find it difficult to talk to their parents or carers about how they’re feeling. They might not know what to say, feel uncomfortable or be worried about upsetting you. In this situation you can:

• Try another way of speaking to them, like texting, messaging or writing a letter.
• Let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready and reassure them that you want to hear how they’re feeling.
• Encourage them to speak to someone else they trust. This could be a relative or family friend. They might like to read our young people’s guide to reaching out to help them decide who this person is.
• Encourage them to speak to a helpline by phone, chat, email or text.

Sometimes, children and young people feel low or depressed in reaction to events happening in their life. It could be :

• a problem with a friendship or family relationship
• being bullied or feeling left out at school
• feeling lonely
• feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork or the school environment
• struggling with a change such as divorce or separation in the family
• experiencing grief or loss
• going through a trauma, including witnessing or experiencing domestic violence or abuse 

Can your child or young person identify anything that’s affecting them at the moment? Are there changes that could be made at home or school that would make things easier?

These things might sound simple, but they can have a big effect on our mood. They include:

• eating regular healthy meals and drinking enough water
• getting enough sleep and getting up a regular time
• doing some movement or exercise
• spending quality time with loved ones
• balancing screen time with other activities

If they’re feeling very low in energy, you might want to start with something simple like watching a film or TV programme together. Or you can build up to things slowly. For example, if they usually enjoy exercising or playing sport, see if you can go for a short walk together. They can also listen to music or podcasts while you’re walking.

This is a list of the kinds of things that help when they’re struggling. It might include:

• a list of their ‘support circle’ - the people they trust and feel comfortable reaching out to
• the type of support they would like from you
• activities that help them feel better
• the services or helplines they can reach out to (internal link)
• a list of the professionals they can speak to when they need help – this might be their GP, counsellor, teacher or CAMHS worker

Keep letting them know that:

• you love them
• you’re here for them
• these feelings will not last forever
• you can find support to help things feel better