Half pint: overcoming domestic abuse through strength and resilience

Topics mentioned: abuse, disability and mental health, family, trauma, drugs and alcohol, self-esteem

About: Josiah once felt limited by his disability and the trauma of abuse, but was empowered to see things differently. He shares his story to help others find strength.

This blog contains reference to domestic abuse. Please do not read on if you think the content may be triggering for you. If you are currently struggling with your mental health, please visit our find help page for information, advice and guidance on where to get support.

As a young, Disabled Black man, my journey through domestic abuse has been one of profound challenges and ultimate triumph. Growing up in a household marked by tragedy and dysfunction wasn’t easy. I had to deal with both the physical limitations of my disability and the psychological wounds from familial abuse. But now, I’m living proof of the power of resilience and how taking control of your own life can lead to amazing things.

I grew up with my siblings in a single-parent home and experienced the devastating impact of violence and dysfunction. The loss of my father to a senseless act of violence left my family shattered, grappling with grief and instability. My mother, having to raise four children on her own, struggled to cope with the trauma of losing her partner while trying to provide for her family.

While our family was going through this turmoil, my brother started to show patterns of abusive behaviour. At first, it was occasional outbursts of anger, but it got worse overtime. He became more threatening and violent, especially when drugs and alcohol were involved. Our home became a place of fear and uncertainty. Even though authorities tried to step in and help, my mother didn’t want to admit how serious the situation was, and this only made our suffering go on for longer.

For me, a big part of feeling empowered was realising that I was capable and resilient, despite the constraints of my disability and the trauma of my past. I refused to give up. Instead, I leaned into humility and saw true strength not in showing off or being aggressive, but in the quiet resolve to push through even in the face of adversity.

Once I broke free from my past, I had a newfound sense of autonomy and purpose. I wasn’t stuck in the old patterns of my upbringing anymore. I started exploring who I really was and what I wanted in life, which meant forging my own path towards healing and fulfilment. As Jung said, "I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."

My experience of domestic abuse has been marked by pain and adversity, but it also showed me just how strong people can be. To my fellow young, Disabled, Black individuals who might feel stuck in similar circumstances, I offer this message of hope: You are not defined by your past or your circumstances. You have the strength and resilience to overcome any obstacle that stands in your way.

Another quote I keep in mind is, "Stand up straight with your shoulders back." For me, this is all about knowing your worth and not letting the challenges you face take that away from you. Through perseverance, knowing yourself, and believing in your own potential, you can rise above the scars of your past and be the hero of your own story.