A young person hugging their friend to show support.

Five ways you can help someone struggling

2 min read
28 September 2018

Topics mentioned: supporting a friend, family

Author: Tara

About: When someone close to you is struggling with their mental health, it can be difficult to know what to do. Blogger Tara suggests five ways you can help as a friend or family member.

Being invited out, (even if my friends knew I’d refuse), helped me to realise people still wanted me in their life.

Don’t force them to talk

Although it’s amazing to make yourself available to listen to someone who is struggling, be aware that they might not want to talk about it all the time. When I was struggling, I found it helped having certain friends who I didn’t have to always talk about my mental health with, but I could just keep being friends as we were before.

Keep inviting them

I started to refuse invites when I became down, for various reasons. However, when some people stopped asking, I twisted it in my head and thought it meant they no longer liked me. So being invited out, (even if my friends knew I’d refuse), helped me to realise people still wanted me in their life.

One of the things that brightened up my day the most was receiving songs, quotes or photos my friends sent me.

Send things that remind you of them

One of the things that brightened up my day the most was receiving songs, quotes or photos my friends sent me. Some were motivational, funny, or memories (including my favourite song Fight for It by Lucy Spraggan). They helped because it was a reminder they were thinking of me, and now remain as a positive memory of what I went through.

Ask them what they want to do

It sounds silly, but sometimes someone has something they want to do, whether that’s getting out of the house for a walk, staying in and having a movie day or talking about what they’re feeling. By giving them the option to choose, they might feel more able to talk.

By giving them the option to choose, they might feel more able to talk.

Offer hugs

This doesn’t apply to everyone, but personally I found hugs and cuddles a massive, warm and comforting support.

More information and advice

We have tips and advice to help you find the support you need. Take a look at our guides.

Where to get help

However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.

  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    24/7
  • The Mix

    Free, short-term online counselling for young people aged 25 or under. Their website also provides lots of information and advice about mental health and wellbeing. 

    Email support is available via their online contact form.

    They have a free 1-2-1 webchat service available during opening hours.

    Opening times:
    4pm - 11pm, Monday - Friday
  • Shout

    Text SHOUT to 85258.

    Shout provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

    All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

    Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

    Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

    Opening times:
    24/7

Thanks for sharing your story Tara

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